hmm

one of the reasons i resisted getting a blog for so long was that i never really felt like i had anything meaningful to say...or i guess to put it more accurately, i never knew how to somehow organize all of the thoughts in my head into one, eloquent, understandable post. i think that's still true.

so much is going on in my life right now, and most of the time, i'm not quite sure what to make of it all...what i know right now is that this is a season of change for me, both external and internal.

what does that look like? i am slowly adjusting to life with a roommate (not steve) and learning how to be a good friend to him, even though sometimes that can be tough. i am learning how to love and care for people (in general, but specifically women in my small group). i am realizing that i have not fully processed all that came with joseph's accident. i am struggling with being far from family, especially now as there are things going on at home that i can neither help with nor control (the renting out of the home i grew up in, feuding in my mom's family following my grandfather's death). i am excited about the decisions steve and i are making for our future. i am in tension between who i am right now and who i want to be. i am learning how to receive love and how to share what's going on without apology. i am loving being a wife. and i am hopeful that the change and the transformation will create something beautiful.

i'll end this post with a song that we heard at reunion this past sunday that was pretty powerful...

"You are God" by charlie hall

You're closer than our troubles
More present than any danger
More grand than gold and silver
You are God, You are God
You're the joy of man's desire
You are father, satisfier
We are filled with wide-eyed wonder
You are God, You are God

You fill our hearts with love and faith
You fight for us, You make us brave
You are God, You are God
You walk with us, You lead us on
Faith, hope and love wakes up with dawn
You are God, You are God

And life flows from God
Flows from God